In what is not a new topic by any stretch of the imagination, the following is one father’s take on what most are calling cyberbullying. I will play along with society’s label, although I would prefer to call it ‘bullying for lazy kids’. That’s right, gone are the days when bullies went the extra mile for their craft. Waiting after school for their target, or hiding in the dark shadows of a locker room, all the while enduring the harsh elements and often times forgoing the easier bus ride home. Whether it was for lunch money, revenge from some perceived wrong, agitation stemming from the interworkings of middle school social circles; the point is that the bullies from yesterday wore their hard hats (so to speak) and put in work. Today’s bully gets picked up right in front of their school from Mommy or dropped off right in front of their house (don’t get me started on the bus stops issue), they then proceed to use text messaging, facebook, and other methods to intimidate their prey.
PRIMARY PROBLEM
Ok, so in trying to make some valid points I was mostly attempting to shed some humorous light on this new behavior, but in reality – there is a real problem with this type of abuse. The definition that I’ve found and am pretty comfortable passing along is as follows: “Cyberbullying is when someone repeatedly harasses, mistreats, or makes fun of another person online or while using cell phones or other electronic devices.” The biggest issue that I see is that most parents and teachers today are not adequately prepared or technologically savvy enough to really keep a good eye on what their kids are doing. Only about 15% of parents are aware of or are actively watching their child’s social networking and online presence. Whether the child is the tormentor or the harassed, most kids today have grown up with technology and have had cell phones, Instant Messaging, and Facebook accounts for nearly as long as or longer than their adult counterparts. This puts us at a great disadvantage in my opinion, and there is no other way than to get up to speed with how your children are communicating with their peers. Just as my employer,
Shatter I.T. is specialized in doing some very high level monitoring of our customer’s systems (shameless plug, sure, but the comparison seems oddly familiar to me); it’s my job as a parent to stay vigilant in monitoring what my daughter is doing online. What does that mean exactly? For me, it means that I have her passwords for email, Facebook and am more than capable of pulling her cell phone out of her hand and reading the messages at any given moment. Have I struggled with the idea that I may be violating her privacy and that she has a right to keep some things to herself? I have, but my reasoning (or excuse perhaps) is that her safety and the safety of her peers supersede her confidentiality, by a lot!
In digging a bit deeper into some statistics, and I implore you all to do your own research, I’ve found that most sources agree that girls are more likely victims than boys, and that roughly half of all middle school aged children have been or will be targets before reaching high school. Most of the numbers I’ve seen and from what I’ve learned in attending multiple presentations on this subject matter, are that we will see an escalation based on the simple fact that more adolescents are going online and spending more time there in general. As I mentioned in the very first sentence, I highly doubt that anything I’ve written will shock or surprise anyone as this subject has been garnering more and more attention within local communities as well as the media. My hope is to keep it at the forefront of everyone’s minds and politely remind all who read what the end result could be. I don’t want to be a drama queen here, but really we are talking about things like suicide, Columbine, and just plain being a meanie.
Another major problem in comparing today’s bullying techniques versus those of yesterday, is that there is no reprieve for the kids today. The cruelty can continue much further beyond the school day and into the home. The mental abuse on an adolescent can take its toll over time and cause even the most headstrong individual to crack.
SOLUTION?
I’ll bet you were hoping that I’d have one right? Well I don’t, and all I really have in terms of any type of resolution is to share with you what I believe works for me. I ask lots of questions and do a bit of spying. My daughter gets real tired of my inquiries into her peers at school. I want to know names for faces, what their parents do, how they do in school with their grades, what extracurricular activities they are involved with outside of school, who’s popular and who isn’t, etc... Sure, some of that might be me being nosey, but I’d rather be a busy body than the naive parent of a victim or a bully. The good news is www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberbullying that there is new legislation being introduced as this topic has gained momentum. In most states, school administrators are now able to enforce punishments on offending students. Also, 18 U.S.C. § 875(c) criminalizes the making of threats via Internet, so government and law enforcement are also on the right track but still a bit slow to react in my opinion. If there is one single theme or thing to be remembered from this article, it is that I hope people continue to talk about this subject and that parents, teachers, police, and even other students are acutely aware of the possible consequences if they neglect to take action of any known instances of cyberbullying.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
http://www.cyberbullying.us/
http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/
http://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullying
http://www.cyberbully.org/
http://www.i-safe.org/
http://www.stopbullying.gov/topics/cyberbullying/
http://www.ncpc.org/newsroom/current-campaigns/cyberbullying/
http://www.netsmartz.org/Parents
http://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdf
By: Michael Harber
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